He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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