WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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