To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
