I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
