Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
