So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
