Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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