hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
