Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
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dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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