ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
