I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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