Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize