i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
