I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
