I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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