took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize