I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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