not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
