I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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