Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
