I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize