That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
