i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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