so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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