Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
