the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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