goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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