hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.