just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize