That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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