im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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