Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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