My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
