***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
