she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize