I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream