Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.

Fav 5 2209 868
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

Fav 33 5971 1713
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever

Fav 18 6407 882
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

Fav 26 5002 1070
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?

(651): View more from Minnesota

That's yours. We cut you off.

Fav 3 4213 1235
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

Fav 2 1879 1195
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear

Fav 5 1605 919
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...

(512): View more from Texas

Cross faded me is not the classiest.

(817): View more from Texas

No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that

Fav 1 653 563
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.

Fav 4 34 67
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT