Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.

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  (573): i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina. http://tfl.nu/5va6
  Replies (40) Good night (3837) Bad night (1221)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson

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  (973): How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson http://tfl.nu/43b3
  Replies (24) Good night (946) Bad night (3059)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.

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  (516): Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it. http://tfl.nu/st29
  Replies (22) Good night (4189) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.

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  (719): Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest. http://tfl.nu/sb3m
  Replies (41) Good night (4746) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  i always knew you were classy

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  (603): laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom.... (1-605): i always knew you were classy http://tfl.nu/hf24
  Replies (44) Good night (1966) Bad night (5406)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.

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  (972): Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive. http://tfl.nu/x0bv
  Replies (3) Good night (3765) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...

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  (270): I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in... http://tfl.nu/1w40
  Replies (8) Good night (4076) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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  (423): By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/7ckj
  Replies (15) Good night (3308) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

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  (812): he went at my nipples like a starved dog. http://tfl.nu/ku4j
  Replies (11) Good night (730) Bad night (1508)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry

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  (803): He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry http://tfl.nu/mcy0
  Replies (4) Good night (440) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  From one hot mess to another... Get it together.

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  (706): From one hot mess to another... Get it together. http://tfl.nu/0xgv
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT

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  (931): ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT http://tfl.nu/g173
  Replies (21) Good night (670) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".

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  (902): I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores". http://tfl.nu/4gk3
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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  (727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.

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  (626): I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/ufq8
  Replies (0) Good night (232) Bad night (361)

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