I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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