so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
