So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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