Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
