and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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