Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
