I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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