But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
