I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize