Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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