: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
