Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
