Don't you send me to vm
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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