her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
