tell your sister to shave her snatch
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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