meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it hurts more in the daytime
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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