I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
