Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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