Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
