Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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