I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
