I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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