Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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