For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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