So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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