erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
