My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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