That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
