Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
