2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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