i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
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she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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