Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
