I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize