I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
