PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
