Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
a search helicopter?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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