yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
